What It Comes Down To
by XatLenore
Summary: After the sudden death of Spike, Twilight begins experimenting with a new drug called Scoffix. Her life takes a turn for the worse as the addiction slowly gets more drastic.
1. Chapter 1, At Night

"Come now Twilight," Rarity said calmly as she did her best to pick Twilight up off the floor. "Darling come on..." she continued to whisper in her elegant voice to her friend. She picked Twilight up with her arms and magic. Twilight was then laid on her side with a pillow on her back to keep her from rolling over. Rarity blew a lock of hair out of her face, which gently draped back down.

Twilight lay, utterly passed out on her bed. Rarity stood beside her and examined Twilights new body. Greasy mane, coat hasn't been tended to in days and most of all, hundreds of tiny little holes everywhere. Trails of black from within her skin, identifying broken veins, covered her arms and legs. Twilight was deathly thin and had hardly any signs of life in her anymore.

Rarity looked to the back of Twilight's neck once she walked around the bed to adjust the pillow. This part of her was her favorite. It looked like it did before. It looked like it did before she began her experimentation with drugs. It looked the way it did when she first saw her come into her boutique. It looked the way it did back before Twilight went through the depression of losing Spike in the accident.

Rarity found out through Applejack that Twilight began taking drugs. Knowing Applejack was too busy, Fluttershy was too timid, Rainbow doesn't have the patience and Pinkie was too loud, Rarity and Applejack agreed that Rarity would check on Twilight throughout the night before they could settle on a way to make her stop.

For now, Rarity spends the night with Twilight. Not the whole night. She'd put on her favorite hat, walk to the library at 11:30 and make sure Twilight was in bed. Half the time, Twilight would be on the floor. Other times she'd be standing still, wobbling side to side deep in a high.

Soffix (Soff-exe) was a new drug. One that Twilight first found out about as she was walking outside and saw some not much younger fillies trying it. She scolded them for doing drugs; of course they told her it wasn't drugs. She took some for herself, brought it home to research it. After finding no chemicals inside that she had ever heard of, she decided to try it for herself.

Rarity saw her reflection in Twilight's mirror. She saw her messy mane and baggy eyes and let out a scoff. The white unicorn walked to the mirror and with her magic, levitated around her hair to try and fix it up even a little. She rubbed her eyes with her hoofs and muttered to herself, "how ever did I get into this..." she turned back to check on Twilight one more time. As she turned her eyes glanced over Spike's bed. It was made neatly, with a pillow and a blanket. She frowned and narrowed her eyes, "Oh Spikey Wikey..." she whispered to herself.

Upon speaking she heard Twilight groan as she shuffled around weakly. Rarity walked over to her quickly and put her hoof on the side of her head. She gently caressed the purple unicorn to calm her down. Twilight continued to groan, her hoofs slowly kicking and her eyes were squinted tight together. She whimpered and shuffles around in her bed. Rarity shushed her and whispered comforting words to her.

"Shh now Twilight it's okay, Rarity is here...you can sleep...it's alright..." she whispered in her elegant voice. Twilight slowly began to settle down. "Oh...how did it come to this, darling..." she whispered one more time. She turned and saw Twilights room. The place was a mess, along with the whole library. It was as silent as it could be. The only sound was the subtle sound of the clock ticking. No sound of Spike snoring, no tiny giggled from Twilight. Just the sound of the two unicorns breathing. Rarity repeated herself with her eyes squinted, a sullen look upon her face.

"How did it come to this..."


	2. Chapter 2, Happiness and Muffins

Twilight lay on her back on the couch. Her hoofs in the air but they dangled, completely flaccid. She had her eyes wide open and looked up at the ceiling. Blinking twice she tilted her head and noticed a spider on the ceiling. Slowly she began to smile at it in wonder, seeing it weave its web. Although Twilight was sick, emotionally dying and unable to go moments without feeling slightly ill, she could still feel. She could still feel torment, regret, anguish and fear.

But she could still feel joy, happiness, wonder and bliss. Her eyes squinted so she could get a better look at the spider. Her vision was always bad; she couldn't see things far from her but could see things close to her. This is why she never bothered getting glasses. Her concentration was broken once she heard a knock at the door.

Applejack and Pinkie Pie walked in, Pinkie Pie screaming loud, "Twilight we're home! No wait...we're here! Ha ha ha!" Pinkie did her giggle snort laugh as she skipped into Twilight's house. Applejack laughed as she two earth ponies walked in. Twilight loaned a her new sofa off of Fluttershy, who was either more than happy to let her borrow it, or too shy to say no. The couch was laid under the biggest window in the library on the main floor. Twilight turned her head to see her two friends walk in.

She gave them a weak smile. Applejack had her hair in the usual ponytails, Pinkie's was as fuzzy and curly as always. Pinkie instantly gave Twilight a tight hug, making Twilight cringe before giving her a hug back. Applejack put the basket on the floor, "Howdy, Twilight, how are you feelin'?" she asked. Knowing Twilight wasn't doing okay, she got the answer she expected, "I'm doing fine guys..."

"Well I made y'all some Daffodil Sandwiches, Granny made y'all an Applepie with extra sugar and Pinkie Pie here ma—" Pinkie interrupted and said quickly, eager to get her words out as usual, "I made you some cupcakes, a tiny cake, some muffins, some muffins with oats, some muffins with hay, some muffins with bits of raisins in them, some muffi—" Applejack interrupted her, knowing Pinkie would go on for hours about the treat she made for Twilight, "Alright there Pinkie, I think she got it."

Twilight did another smile as she sat up. The three ponies sat on the floor in a triangle. Pinkie sat unreasonably close to Twilight and Applejack sat across from the two. Applejack put the sandwich on a napkin and placed it in front of Twilight. Twilight slowly levitated it and bit into it.

Applejack has been bringing food to Twilight since the addiction started. Twilight rarely leaves her house since then, therefore she could never get food. She never asked Applejack to bring her food. She never asked Pinkie Pie to make her treats. The two only did it because it was the only way they knew how to help Twilight.

Applejack swallowed a bit of muffin before asking, "So Twilight, how many times did y'ah shoot up today" Twilight's ear flicked. She then sighed," Only three times...trust me Applejack I only take it when I need to."

"Take it when you need to?" Asked AJ

"Well...when I start coming down I take it..." Twilight mumbled

"Really? Are y'all doped up now?" asked Applejack with a bit of disgust in her voice.

"Just a bit but...Its not so bad...Can we stop talking about it please?" Twilight said as she rubbed her bloodshot eyes.

Pinkie Pie was still sitting calmly, munching on a muffin as she tried her best to ignore the argument that happens every day she goes over.

"Those drugs just make things worse, you're even more depressed and sad than you were before, Twilight. I don't know why y'all insist on saying it make's y'all feel so much better!" Applejack continued anyway. Pinkie Pie finally stepped in and spoke, "Well I think its kinda nice!"

The two ponies turned their head to Pinkie Pie. She was sitting with that innocent smile on her face. She then explained herself.

"Well I think if Twilight was happy _all _the time, then being happy would lose its meaning! The happiness she rarely feels would feel even greater since she has to wait for it and it's a rare feeling. Its like if other ponies hardly give you hugs or scratch your ear's" she flapped her ear's a bit, "then the hugs are even nicer and the ear scratches feel even better! So if Twilight's always moping like this, then in a way it's good. I don't like how her arms are always all floppy and weird like this... but at least something makes her happy."

Pinkie Pie kept a smile on her face as she spoke. The two other ponies looked at one another a few times then back to Pinkie, who was chewing on a muffin again. "It still ain't right Pinkie..." Applejack spoke as she lifted the last bit of food to her mouth.

After Applejack finished eating, she checked the time and said her goodbyes then left. Pinkie Pie screamed out to her as she left, "BYE APPLEJACK!"

Twilight smiled weakly to Pinkie and said in a soft voice, "Thank you, Pinkie, for defending me that is." Pinkie turned her head to Twilight and smiled at her, "Why wouldn't I? You're my friend Twilight, I love you!" Pinkie said happily as she gave Twilight a hug.


	3. Chapter 3, In Fluttershy's Cottage

Twilight sat on her bed. She levitated a syringe to her face and examined it, making sure it would work. With her hoofs, she tied on an elastic to her arm. With a deep inhale she stuck the syringe in. The pain stung down her arm as she injected the Scoffix. She could feel the chemicals being sent around her veins and into her heart. Her eye lids fluttered as she began to do a slow nod, her head lowering then lifting again. It was 5:30 in the afternoon; this would be the second time she took it. She wakes up around 10 in the morning and shoots up then. She takes it again around 5:30 in the afternoon, then again at 10:00.

Meanwhile, Applejack was helping Fluttershy move a new mattress to her bedroom. Applejack balanced it on her head, while Fluttershy held onto it with her hoofs.

"Come on now Fluttershy, we got this!" said Applejack happily as she began to reach the top of the stairs. Fluttershy did a quiet whimper. Finally once they got it up the stairs, the two ponies fell back onto it to rest. The two laid on their backs, looking up on the ceiling. Applejack let out a chuckle and rolled over to look at Fluttershy. Fluttershy's long mane was sprawled out like a unwashed paintbrush. Applejack smiled at her friend. The yellow Pegasus looked back at Applejack and gave her another smile.

"So Fluttershy, care to tell me why Twilight has your couch?" Applejack asked, lying back onto her back. Fluttershy's ears bent back as if she felt like she did something wrong. She cleared her throat before she responded, "Oh...well I just thought it was simply awful that Twilight didn't have one. So I let her borrow mine." Applejack nodded a bit. She turned her head to the ceiling and watched it with Fluttershy. Applejack spoke again, "So why is Twilight needin' a couch important now?"

Fluttershy blushed a little, not wanting to admit too much. She spoke anyway, "Well...there are times when Twilight can't get up the stairs when she's after taking that...scoff stuff...so I thought a couch would be a nice thing to have so she could lie on something." Fluttershy said in her gentle voice. Applejack grit her teeth a little at the thought of Twilight being so doped up she could hardly walk. Applejack looked to Fluttershy who was still looking at the ceiling.

"Why do you think she still takes it?" asked Applejack

"Oh, maybe she's upset about Spike being so sick...Poor baby...I wish I could of helped him somehow..." Fluttershy spoke with a quivering voice. Applejack could see tears in her eyes.

"Now now, Sugarcube, let's not go blamin' one another. I don't want you blaming yourself like Twilight's been doin'" Applejack said, doing her best to comfort her friend. Fluttershy rubbed her eyes and got the tears away. "Twilight blames herself?" Fluttershy asked as she turned her head to look at AJ.

AJ's green eyes looked back at her. Fluttershy always wanted eyes like Applejack, while Fluttershy's eyes were aquamarine like the ocean, Applejack had vibrant green eyes like a field of grass, new leafs on a tree and the stem of a flower. They were beautiful, just like the pony they belonged to. She began to think of Twilight's eyes. They were the perfect shade of glossy purple and matched the rest of her body. Then she became slightly sickened when she thought of how they looked now.

Twilight's eyes were always blood shot now. They were faded slightly and always had dark circles around them. The waterlines in her eyes were constantly pastel red while the rest of her eyes were pink. Around the faded colour of purple around her eyes the pink became more subtle.

"You have pretty eyes Applejack," Fluttershy said as she looked at Applejack. Applejack couldn't help but chuckle, "I like your eyes too Fluttershy." Applejack kept a smile at her face. She let out a content sigh. "I'd like them better if there wasn't always a trace of tears in them."

Fluttershy bit her lip before speaking again, "Oh uh...well you know I...cry a lot" she muttered shyly. Applejack lid back down. She could see a bird house on the ceiling. "Fluttershy, why do you cry so much?"

"Oh um...I think its because I'm so shy," Fluttershy began to play with a lock of her hair in her hoofs

"Well why are you so shy, Sugarcube?" Applejack asked

"What do you mean, Applejack?" She replied

"Well I find ponies are shy because they're constantly afraid of what others will think of them. A lot 'a shy ponies tend to think they're somewhat worthless or they're terrible. I hope y'all don't feel like that, Fluttershy." Applejack said as she looked over to her friend.

Fluttershy had some tears beading in her eyes. She continued to play with her hair to try and hide her emotions as she replied, "Maybe I do sometimes..."


	4. Chapter 4, What Matters

Applejack kicked the apple tree with her back hoofs. The apples each fell, two or three at a time into the basket she laid down. A few scattered on the ground making AJ grumble a bit. She leaned down to pick it up when she saw a blue glimmer around it. She looked up and saw Rarity, horn glowing, using her magic to lift the apples into the basket. "Thank ya kindly, Rarity!" Applejack said with a big grin.

"Not at all, Darling!" Rarity said. She was wearing a sunhat, probably because the weather was warmer than usual. The sun casted a shadow over Rarity's blue eyes, but they still sparkled. "So what're you doin' here?" asked Applejack as she walked to another tree and kicked it. "Oh, I was just passing by..."

"Come on now Rarity, y'all can tell me if anythin's wrong." Applejack said sincerely. She kicked another tree as she spoke. "I was wondering if I could join you and Twilight for lunch today. I've been rather stressed with work, you see, and I'd like to have a bit of an outing." Rarity said as she levitated another apple and put it in the basket. She wiped her forehead, as if this was a lot of work.

Applejack trotted to another tree and turned her head to Rarity, "Sure thing, sugarcube," Applejack said, "I'm just about done here. We can head up now.", "Oh are you sure?", "Don't sweat it! Let's go,"

Applejack and Rarity walked out of the Apple Farm, leaving tiny hoof prints in the dirt. "Applejack, Fluttershy told me you and she had a little talk about Twilight. Anything I should worry about?" Rarity asked as she adjusted her hat. "Ah...I found out more about Fluttershy than I did Twilight."

"Honestly that Fluttershy, she's never spoken to me about herself. I know that the poor filly blames herself and is always apologizing. Although her soft personality is rather refreshing." Rarity said with a coo.

"Twilight _and _Fluttershy blame themselves for a lot of things. Found out she thinks she's worthless." Applejack said like it was nothing.

"Worthless? Oh the poor dear..." Rarity said as she lowered her head.

The two walked over the bridge which came into the town's entrance. Rarity stopped and lifted her head as she heard a little splash of water. She turned her head and looked down towards the water. Multiple fish began jumping out of the water, flying in the air for half a second then splashing back in. Rarity did a modest smile. "Nothing is worthless, darling."

Applejack fixed her hat, which was falling off a bit in the breeze. Rarity cleared her throat as she turned back to the town and began walking, Applejack walked next to her.

Rarity continued, "Twilight matters for all the magic she does. It's a much expressed way of mattering. She's saved the town multiple times so she should know by now she matters. Fluttershy however, has a more subtle way of mattering. She doesn't see how the crumbs from the food she eats feeds populations of ants, she doesn't see how flower seeds stick to her hoofs making her plant flowers all around Ponyville as she walks. She doesn't see how when she throws the starfish that washed up on shore back into the ocean she saved a life. Fluttershy matters, we all matter, Darling. Some of us just don't see it as easily,"

Applejack blinked a few times and let out a little, "hm..." in reply to Rarity's little rant. Eventually they got to Twilight's library, which was generally around the center of town. The outside of the house looked much nicer than the inside. Rarity winced at the sight of all the dust that was caked on the windows. She mumbled to herself, "Thank heavens I never wore that dress..."

Rarity opened the door after knocking on it a few times. As she stepped in she sung out, "Oh, Twiliiiight?" she looked at the floor and saw dirt, empty baggies, empty Styrofoam packaging that once contained food, a few syringes and hair. Rarity gritted her teeth and stood in the door, not wanting to step in all the vile things scattered on the floor. Applejack however, walked in and called out to Twilight.

"Twilight?! We're gonna take y'all out to eat today!" Applejack said as she walked over to the couch. Twilight was nowhere to be seen. She sighed, blowing a bit of a raspberry as she turned. She could see Rarity using her magic to lift multiple syringes and baggies into the trash. Applejack couldn't help but chuckle at her friend's disgusted face.

If Twilight is not on the couch, she is upstairs in bed. Applejack walked up, step after step making a noise. She could see Twilight lying on her side in the bed. She had new scratches all over her arms and face. They were glossy which meant they were fresh. Twilight was passed out. She had a needle stuck in her arm still and had drool pouring out of her wide open mouth, leaking onto the beds sheets. Applejack grits her teeth in frustration and a bit of pity. "Rarity, get your tail up here!" Applejack called out to Rarity as she turned and stomped down the stairs.

Rarity walked up the stairs, flicking her mane as she walked past Applejack. Rarity saw Twilight lying there, "Alright Twilight," she said in a comforting voice. Using her magic she levitated the needle, slowly, out of the purple unicorns arm. Rarity picked up a discarded towel, found a part of it that had no blotches of blood on it. With this piece she wiped Twilight's mouth, cleaning off the drool.

She sat on the bed after pushing the piles of sheets and blankets off and sat down. She then lifted Twilight up with a groan then held her. She held Twilight like a child, cradling her head on her bent elbow, letting her lie across her legs. She gently rubbed Twilight's bangs from her face and looked down at her. She whispered to herself, as she began dabbing the towel on Twilight's new cuts, "Oh Twilight..."


End file.
